1 00:00:23,068 --> 00:00:25,965 [ominous music] 2 00:00:25,965 --> 00:00:28,965 [distant snoring] 3 00:00:28,965 --> 00:00:34,931 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:34,931 --> 00:00:37,931 [snoring] 5 00:00:41,172 --> 00:00:42,689 Dad. 6 00:00:42,689 --> 00:00:44,379 [shouts] 7 00:00:44,379 --> 00:00:47,275 Lisa, you scared the ding-dang-Dickens out of me. 8 00:00:47,275 --> 00:00:49,241 I'm used to Lucy sneaking up on me. 9 00:00:49,241 --> 00:00:50,517 That is kind of my thing. 10 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:51,689 Oh! 11 00:00:53,172 --> 00:00:54,413 What is going on? 12 00:00:54,413 --> 00:00:55,793 Lisa's fallen ill. 13 00:00:55,793 --> 00:00:58,000 She should probably get her affairs in order. 14 00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,862 I've already prepared a grave in the backyard. 15 00:01:00,862 --> 00:01:04,137 I'm fairly certain my appendix is about to burst. 16 00:01:04,137 --> 00:01:05,551 And I need someone to accompany me 17 00:01:05,551 --> 00:01:07,137 to the nearest emergency room. 18 00:01:07,137 --> 00:01:09,551 I don't think we can afford another trip to the ER. 19 00:01:09,551 --> 00:01:11,137 Message received. 20 00:01:11,137 --> 00:01:12,620 I'll prepare the embalming fluid. 21 00:01:12,620 --> 00:01:14,275 OK, just hold your horses. 22 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,413 Is it maybe acid reflux, 23 00:01:16,413 --> 00:01:18,724 you know, from Lynn-chilada night? 24 00:01:18,724 --> 00:01:20,379 I know it's been known to cause a little turbulence 25 00:01:20,379 --> 00:01:22,448 south of the border, if you know what I mean. 26 00:01:22,448 --> 00:01:24,310 I've done some preliminary diagnostics 27 00:01:24,310 --> 00:01:25,586 and all signs are pointing 28 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,241 to the aforementioned appendicitis. 29 00:01:27,241 --> 00:01:28,620 OK. 30 00:01:28,620 --> 00:01:31,103 Let me consult with my better half. 31 00:01:31,103 --> 00:01:32,310 Honey. 32 00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:33,689 Hon. - Yeah? 33 00:01:33,689 --> 00:01:35,620 Mm. 34 00:01:35,620 --> 00:01:37,724 Does Lisa have a stomachache she thinks is appendicitis, 35 00:01:37,724 --> 00:01:40,206 and Lucy wants to bury her alive? 36 00:01:40,206 --> 00:01:41,586 It's pretty serious. 37 00:01:41,586 --> 00:01:43,965 All right, well, we should head to the ER. 38 00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:45,103 Want me to take her? 39 00:01:45,103 --> 00:01:46,862 No, no, I got it. 40 00:01:46,862 --> 00:01:48,689 Hey, that was really sweet of you to off-- 41 00:01:48,689 --> 00:01:50,310 [snoring] 42 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:52,000 [sighs] 43 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,551 Let's go. 44 00:01:53,551 --> 00:01:55,275 [snoring] 45 00:01:55,275 --> 00:01:57,724 I hear somebody has a tummy ache. 46 00:01:57,724 --> 00:02:00,793 I'm 99.9% sure that what I have is appendicitis. 47 00:02:00,793 --> 00:02:02,793 I need a surgeon scrubbed and ready. 48 00:02:02,793 --> 00:02:04,931 Dr. Sanders attended one of my lectures. 49 00:02:04,931 --> 00:02:06,172 He'll be fine. 50 00:02:06,172 --> 00:02:07,758 Pump the brakes there. 51 00:02:07,758 --> 00:02:10,310 How does it feel when I put pressure here? 52 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:12,862 OK. 53 00:02:12,862 --> 00:02:14,620 How does it feel if I put pressure here? 54 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:17,620 [farting] 55 00:02:20,310 --> 00:02:21,482 The Lynn-chiladas. 56 00:02:21,482 --> 00:02:23,241 That'll be $300. 57 00:02:23,241 --> 00:02:24,793 [farts] 58 00:02:24,793 --> 00:02:25,965 And 50 cents. 59 00:02:25,965 --> 00:02:27,551 Let's go before we can't afford college. 60 00:02:27,551 --> 00:02:29,448 - I do feel better. - Good. 61 00:02:30,724 --> 00:02:32,517 [upbeat music] [school bell rings] 62 00:02:32,517 --> 00:02:33,758 OK, people. 63 00:02:33,758 --> 00:02:35,275 We're not leaving here until we've come up 64 00:02:35,275 --> 00:02:37,034 with some hot stories. 65 00:02:37,034 --> 00:02:38,206 Let's go. 66 00:02:38,206 --> 00:02:39,379 The news doesn't make itself. 67 00:02:39,379 --> 00:02:41,482 Actually, it does. 68 00:02:41,482 --> 00:02:44,379 Helping or hurting, Clyde, helping or hurting? 69 00:02:44,379 --> 00:02:45,724 I'm sorry. 70 00:02:45,724 --> 00:02:47,724 I'm a little on edge this morning. 71 00:02:47,724 --> 00:02:50,103 He's got a butt pimple that's been really barking at him. 72 00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:51,586 [both hiss] 73 00:02:51,586 --> 00:02:53,620 I wanted to keep that between us, Rusty. 74 00:02:53,620 --> 00:02:55,586 I guess I should have been more clear when I said, 75 00:02:55,586 --> 00:02:57,482 "Let's keep that between us." 76 00:02:57,482 --> 00:02:59,896 Now, does anyone have a news story? 77 00:02:59,896 --> 00:03:00,931 Stella. 78 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,724 Are butt pimples contagious? 79 00:03:02,724 --> 00:03:04,931 I have absolute proof that the school nurse 80 00:03:04,931 --> 00:03:06,172 might be an alien. 81 00:03:06,172 --> 00:03:07,310 I don't know what's wrong 82 00:03:07,310 --> 00:03:08,689 with that melon story I pitched. 83 00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,931 Thing's grown to darn near the size of a baby head. 84 00:03:10,931 --> 00:03:12,586 What's the hook? 85 00:03:12,586 --> 00:03:14,275 Why are we watching? 86 00:03:14,275 --> 00:03:18,000 Because it's grown to darn near the size of a baby head. 87 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,241 You put a live feed on that and the audience 88 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:23,413 will be happier than a kitten chasing a leaky cow. 89 00:03:23,413 --> 00:03:24,551 So we got nothing. 90 00:03:24,551 --> 00:03:26,344 Is that nothing with the melon, 91 00:03:26,344 --> 00:03:28,000 or nothing without the melon? 92 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,310 Thank God for "Real Talk with Rusty". 93 00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:33,517 Without my show, our ratings would be in the toilet. 94 00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:35,137 "Real Talk with Rusty" has been 95 00:03:35,137 --> 00:03:37,551 the top-rated middle school news show in the tri-state area 96 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:39,172 for seven months running. 97 00:03:39,172 --> 00:03:40,551 You get a juice box! 98 00:03:40,551 --> 00:03:42,379 And you get a juice box! 99 00:03:42,379 --> 00:03:46,862 Everybody gets a juice box! 100 00:03:46,862 --> 00:03:48,758 I think if y'all just saw the melon. 101 00:03:49,827 --> 00:03:51,620 It's really quite majestic. 102 00:03:51,620 --> 00:03:53,000 I hate to interrupt. 103 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,551 Please do. 104 00:03:54,551 --> 00:03:56,689 We have a new student for you guys to do a profile on. 105 00:03:56,689 --> 00:03:59,241 Name is Charlie Uggo. 106 00:03:59,241 --> 00:04:00,379 Oh, great. 107 00:04:00,379 --> 00:04:01,862 Another new student segment. 108 00:04:01,862 --> 00:04:03,793 Suddenly, the whole melon exposé 109 00:04:03,793 --> 00:04:05,068 is shooting up the charts. 110 00:04:05,068 --> 00:04:06,931 Being the new kid can't be easy. 111 00:04:06,931 --> 00:04:08,793 Let's try our best to give Charlie 112 00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:11,000 a real Royal Woods welcome. 113 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,586 Thank you, Lincoln. 114 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,482 Oh, look, here she comes now. 115 00:04:14,482 --> 00:04:16,413 She? 116 00:04:16,413 --> 00:04:18,344 [upbeat pop music] 117 00:04:18,344 --> 00:04:22,310 ♪ Ooh, Dream Weaver ♪ 118 00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:27,206 ♪ I believe you can get me through the night ♪ 119 00:04:27,206 --> 00:04:31,379 ♪ ♪ 120 00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:35,689 ♪ Ooh, Dream Weaver ♪ 121 00:04:35,689 --> 00:04:41,448 ♪ I believe we can reach the mornin' light ♪ 122 00:04:41,448 --> 00:04:43,862 Guys, this is Charlie Uggo. 123 00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:45,517 Actually, it's pronounced "U-joe". 124 00:04:45,517 --> 00:04:46,689 It's French. 125 00:04:46,689 --> 00:04:48,275 I just moved here from Tennessee. 126 00:04:48,275 --> 00:04:50,965 Well, that seems appropriate, because you're 127 00:04:50,965 --> 00:04:53,448 the only ten I see. 128 00:04:53,448 --> 00:04:56,413 [crickets chirping] 129 00:04:58,448 --> 00:05:00,034 If y'all don't like the melon story, 130 00:05:00,034 --> 00:05:02,655 got these crickets here can chirp the alphabet. 131 00:05:05,965 --> 00:05:08,689 So, we're going to do the normal stuff on this one. 132 00:05:08,689 --> 00:05:11,137 Name, grade, where she's from, why she moved here. 133 00:05:11,137 --> 00:05:13,344 I think we should ask her what kind of shampoo she uses. 134 00:05:13,344 --> 00:05:15,793 Because her hair smells like a summer breeze. 135 00:05:15,793 --> 00:05:17,827 These new student interviews are generally 136 00:05:17,827 --> 00:05:19,172 only about a minute long. 137 00:05:19,172 --> 00:05:20,655 A minute? 138 00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:22,310 But that would barely scratch the surface with her. 139 00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:25,655 I mean, the people are going to want to know more about her. 140 00:05:25,655 --> 00:05:27,275 She comes from a big family. 141 00:05:27,275 --> 00:05:28,344 She likes magic. 142 00:05:28,344 --> 00:05:29,379 Video games. 143 00:05:29,379 --> 00:05:30,965 Comic books. 144 00:05:30,965 --> 00:05:32,379 Mm, Clyde. 145 00:05:32,379 --> 00:05:35,965 I really like this-- 146 00:05:35,965 --> 00:05:37,206 segment. 147 00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,413 OK, Lincoln, geez. 148 00:05:38,413 --> 00:05:39,827 I'm sorry. 149 00:05:39,827 --> 00:05:41,862 This butt pimple has me really on edge. 150 00:05:41,862 --> 00:05:45,310 And I take the news very, very seriously. 151 00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:47,103 How does my hair look? 152 00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:51,517 Whoever has stomach issues, get your farts out now. 153 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:54,517 [farting sounds] 154 00:05:54,517 --> 00:05:56,068 [loud fart] 155 00:05:56,068 --> 00:05:57,586 Lily, impressive. 156 00:05:57,586 --> 00:06:00,172 Office hours start now. 157 00:06:00,172 --> 00:06:03,206 [upbeat music] 158 00:06:03,206 --> 00:06:04,655 ♪ ♪ 159 00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,551 OK. Say "ah". 160 00:06:06,551 --> 00:06:08,827 Ah! 161 00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:11,103 One more time. 162 00:06:11,103 --> 00:06:12,482 Ahhh! 163 00:06:12,482 --> 00:06:14,103 - Oh, oh! - What's wrong? 164 00:06:14,103 --> 00:06:15,482 Brain freeze. 165 00:06:15,482 --> 00:06:17,413 It's really bad. 166 00:06:17,413 --> 00:06:20,896 Take two boxes of these, and call me in the morning. 167 00:06:20,896 --> 00:06:22,758 Next! 168 00:06:22,758 --> 00:06:25,275 What did I tell you about sunbathing on the roof? 169 00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:28,068 Don't fall off. 170 00:06:29,482 --> 00:06:31,310 - Just pour some of this on it. - Ranch dressing? 171 00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:32,482 Uh-uh. 172 00:06:32,482 --> 00:06:33,862 Cool ranch. 173 00:06:35,275 --> 00:06:36,241 Next! 174 00:06:41,517 --> 00:06:44,586 You got to stop sticking your head in strange places. 175 00:06:44,586 --> 00:06:45,793 Yeah, yeah. 176 00:06:45,793 --> 00:06:49,000 [machine whirring] 177 00:06:50,482 --> 00:06:52,310 [buzzing] 178 00:06:55,275 --> 00:06:57,241 That man's a genius. 179 00:06:57,241 --> 00:06:58,931 Indeed I am. 180 00:06:58,931 --> 00:07:00,275 [chuckles] 181 00:07:00,275 --> 00:07:01,517 Very funny. 182 00:07:01,517 --> 00:07:03,310 Well done. 183 00:07:03,310 --> 00:07:04,862 But it is a comedy prop. 184 00:07:04,862 --> 00:07:06,965 Real patients only. Out. 185 00:07:09,586 --> 00:07:11,068 What happened? 186 00:07:11,068 --> 00:07:13,206 I took a shortcut through the woods to school today. 187 00:07:13,206 --> 00:07:16,103 Apparently, my sneeze sounds a lot like a turkey call. 188 00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,862 OK, well, I guess I'll just have to use 189 00:07:17,862 --> 00:07:19,724 this table for leverage. 190 00:07:19,724 --> 00:07:21,586 I'm going to need you to close your eyes, 191 00:07:21,586 --> 00:07:23,655 and bite down on this spoon. 192 00:07:23,655 --> 00:07:24,827 Don't look at me like that. 193 00:07:24,827 --> 00:07:26,379 All right, here we go. 194 00:07:26,379 --> 00:07:29,068 One, two-- 195 00:07:31,448 --> 00:07:33,551 Hey, you're lucky. I was gonna go on two. 196 00:07:33,551 --> 00:07:35,172 Ugh. OK. 197 00:07:35,172 --> 00:07:37,103 Nothing against your medical skills, 198 00:07:37,103 --> 00:07:39,620 but this family needs a real doctor. 199 00:07:39,620 --> 00:07:41,448 Possibly on 24-hour call. 200 00:07:41,448 --> 00:07:43,241 Well, I don't hear Buckethead complaining. 201 00:07:43,241 --> 00:07:44,448 [clang] 202 00:07:44,448 --> 00:07:46,275 Eyes up, sweetie! 203 00:07:46,275 --> 00:07:47,482 Yeah, yeah. 204 00:07:47,482 --> 00:07:48,896 Listen, I know this isn't ideal, 205 00:07:48,896 --> 00:07:50,517 but unless our resident gravedigger unearths 206 00:07:50,517 --> 00:07:51,758 a pirate treasure in our backyard, 207 00:07:51,758 --> 00:07:53,689 this may be our best option. 208 00:07:53,689 --> 00:07:55,689 Lynn, wait. 209 00:07:55,689 --> 00:07:57,689 What? 210 00:07:57,689 --> 00:08:02,068 ♪ Oooh, Dream Weaver ♪ 211 00:08:02,068 --> 00:08:07,862 ♪ I believe you can get me through the night ♪ 212 00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:10,931 ♪ ♪ 213 00:08:10,931 --> 00:08:14,517 ♪ Ooh, Dream Weaver ♪ 214 00:08:14,517 --> 00:08:16,413 What's up, doc? 215 00:08:18,448 --> 00:08:20,000 Hi, I'm Stella Zhau. 216 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,931 And now with our new student segment 217 00:08:21,931 --> 00:08:25,724 is Lincoln Loud with the "Royal Woods Royal Welcome." 218 00:08:25,724 --> 00:08:27,137 Thanks, Stella. 219 00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:29,655 I'm standing here with Charlie Uggo. 220 00:08:29,655 --> 00:08:31,103 That's French. 221 00:08:31,103 --> 00:08:32,655 Charlie just moved here from Tennessee. 222 00:08:32,655 --> 00:08:34,034 Tell us, Charlie. 223 00:08:34,034 --> 00:08:36,068 What brought you and your family to Royal Woods? 224 00:08:36,068 --> 00:08:38,931 Well, Lincoln-- [muffled voice] 225 00:08:38,931 --> 00:08:43,275 ♪ Oooh, Dream Weaver ♪ 226 00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:47,655 ♪ I believe you can get me through the night ♪ 227 00:08:47,655 --> 00:08:50,758 --and that's why we moved here. 228 00:08:50,758 --> 00:08:52,896 That's a funny story. 229 00:08:52,896 --> 00:08:54,793 My dad being out of work? 230 00:08:56,206 --> 00:08:57,310 Before that. 231 00:08:57,310 --> 00:08:58,793 The factory fire? 232 00:08:59,793 --> 00:09:01,448 Yes. 233 00:09:05,758 --> 00:09:08,655 [suspenseful music] 234 00:09:08,655 --> 00:09:10,793 ♪ ♪ 235 00:09:10,793 --> 00:09:12,965 I have a butt pimple. 236 00:09:14,517 --> 00:09:17,068 It's sore to the touch. 237 00:09:17,068 --> 00:09:19,827 I wanted to pop it yesterday, but my sister 238 00:09:19,827 --> 00:09:21,482 said it wasn't ready. 239 00:09:21,482 --> 00:09:23,310 I can't look away. 240 00:09:24,551 --> 00:09:25,931 Butt pimple. 241 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,413 [upbeat music] 242 00:09:33,413 --> 00:09:34,827 ♪ ♪ 243 00:09:37,068 --> 00:09:39,482 [light suspenseful music] 244 00:09:39,482 --> 00:09:45,310 ♪ ♪ 245 00:09:45,310 --> 00:09:46,620 Hey, hey, hey, Linc. 246 00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,655 What's popping? 247 00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:50,103 Not funny, Mr. Coconuts. 248 00:09:50,103 --> 00:09:51,586 Hey! Don't be mad at him 249 00:09:51,586 --> 00:09:54,655 just because you're the butt of somebody else's joke. 250 00:09:54,655 --> 00:09:56,172 Has everyone seen this video? 251 00:09:56,172 --> 00:09:58,793 Well, I don't know if everyone's seen it, 252 00:09:58,793 --> 00:10:00,310 but 8 million people have seen the remix. 253 00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:03,310 ♪ I--I--I--I have a butt pimple ♪ 254 00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:04,931 ♪ It's sore to the touch ♪ 255 00:10:04,931 --> 00:10:06,448 ♪ Sore to the touch ♪ 256 00:10:06,448 --> 00:10:07,827 ♪ Butt pimple ♪ 257 00:10:07,827 --> 00:10:09,689 ♪ I wanted to pop it yesterday ♪ 258 00:10:09,689 --> 00:10:12,103 I'm sure this whole thing's gonna die down, right? 259 00:10:12,103 --> 00:10:13,586 ♪ Butt pimple, sore to the touch ♪ 260 00:10:13,586 --> 00:10:16,068 ♪ I--I--I--I have a butt pimple ♪ 261 00:10:16,068 --> 00:10:17,758 Where did you get that shirt? 262 00:10:17,758 --> 00:10:20,413 Oh, Flip's selling 'em. 263 00:10:20,413 --> 00:10:22,310 Check out the back. 264 00:10:23,344 --> 00:10:26,586 I'm never going to be able to show my face in school again. 265 00:10:26,586 --> 00:10:30,344 Hey, Linc, if you ever need to go into hiding, 266 00:10:30,344 --> 00:10:33,000 I got a good bucket guy. 267 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,689 Thanks, Lana, but I think I'm gonna go lie down. 268 00:10:35,689 --> 00:10:38,689 [somber music] 269 00:10:38,689 --> 00:10:44,517 ♪ ♪ 270 00:10:44,517 --> 00:10:46,827 Our mission, that we are forced into because 271 00:10:46,827 --> 00:10:49,689 of our financial situation, is to invite our new neighbor 272 00:10:49,689 --> 00:10:51,620 over for dinner, charm him, 273 00:10:51,620 --> 00:10:53,862 and then hold him captive until he gives our children 274 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,413 free medical care. 275 00:10:55,413 --> 00:10:56,689 both: Let's do this. 276 00:10:56,689 --> 00:10:59,655 [lively music] 277 00:10:59,655 --> 00:11:01,965 ♪ ♪ 278 00:11:05,724 --> 00:11:06,758 [whispering] Wow. 279 00:11:06,758 --> 00:11:07,896 He really likes that chicken. 280 00:11:07,896 --> 00:11:09,344 We got to try that place. 281 00:11:09,344 --> 00:11:11,620 [normal voice] Good evening, Mr. Simmons. 282 00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:13,551 Dr. Simmons. 283 00:11:13,551 --> 00:11:17,137 Well, sugar my biscuits! 284 00:11:17,137 --> 00:11:20,241 I didn't know we had a doctor in the neighborhood. 285 00:11:20,241 --> 00:11:22,172 [whispering] I didn't know we were doing characters. 286 00:11:22,172 --> 00:11:24,103 - I made a choice. - OK. 287 00:11:24,103 --> 00:11:25,413 We just wanted to stop by 288 00:11:25,413 --> 00:11:27,172 and welcome you to the neighborhood. 289 00:11:27,172 --> 00:11:28,655 And if you're free, we'd love to have you over to the house 290 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:29,862 for dinner tomorrow night. 291 00:11:29,862 --> 00:11:34,793 And I'm not interested. 292 00:11:34,793 --> 00:11:36,000 [door slams] 293 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,137 [clears throat] I guess that means 294 00:11:40,137 --> 00:11:43,344 it'll just be more of my world famous fried chicken 295 00:11:43,344 --> 00:11:44,931 for the rest of us. 296 00:11:44,931 --> 00:11:46,206 I don't know if you know this, 297 00:11:46,206 --> 00:11:49,137 but I am the best chef in Royal Woods. 298 00:11:53,034 --> 00:11:54,896 I'll be there at 8:00. 299 00:11:56,724 --> 00:11:59,241 [energetic rock music] 300 00:11:59,241 --> 00:12:00,758 Oh, Bun-Bun. 301 00:12:00,758 --> 00:12:02,862 How could I have been so immature? 302 00:12:02,862 --> 00:12:06,413 She's the perfect girl for me, and I totally blew it. 303 00:12:06,413 --> 00:12:08,931 I used to be the man with the plan. 304 00:12:08,931 --> 00:12:11,413 Now I'm the boy with the butt pimple. 305 00:12:11,413 --> 00:12:13,517 I don't think this day could get any worse. 306 00:12:13,517 --> 00:12:16,482 [dramatic music] 307 00:12:16,482 --> 00:12:18,724 ♪ ♪ 308 00:12:18,724 --> 00:12:19,896 Hey! 309 00:12:19,896 --> 00:12:21,965 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 310 00:12:21,965 --> 00:12:23,517 Don't worry, I'm giving you the friends 311 00:12:23,517 --> 00:12:24,896 and family discount. 312 00:12:24,896 --> 00:12:26,862 I appreciate the discount, Lucy, 313 00:12:26,862 --> 00:12:28,931 but I don't want you to bury me. 314 00:12:28,931 --> 00:12:30,275 Sigh. 315 00:12:30,275 --> 00:12:32,896 I've never buried someone famous before. 316 00:12:36,758 --> 00:12:38,310 Hi, Lincoln. 317 00:12:38,310 --> 00:12:40,103 Are you guys here to pile on? 318 00:12:40,103 --> 00:12:41,965 Because there's more shovels in the garage. 319 00:12:41,965 --> 00:12:43,724 You're our baby brother. 320 00:12:43,724 --> 00:12:45,344 We're here to help. 321 00:12:45,344 --> 00:12:46,551 Not me. 322 00:12:46,551 --> 00:12:48,310 I wouldn't be caught dead with you. 323 00:12:48,310 --> 00:12:49,827 Stop it. 324 00:12:49,827 --> 00:12:51,137 Good one. 325 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,965 Thanks for taking care of me, you guys. 326 00:12:54,965 --> 00:12:56,620 I can't believe I blew it with Charlie. 327 00:12:56,620 --> 00:12:59,068 Come on, little bro, don't hang your head. 328 00:12:59,068 --> 00:13:00,448 Yeah, you can totally bounce back from this. 329 00:13:00,448 --> 00:13:02,241 I don't know how that's possible. 330 00:13:02,241 --> 00:13:04,517 Anything is possible when you have us. 331 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:05,965 You really think so? 332 00:13:05,965 --> 00:13:07,379 We know so. 333 00:13:07,379 --> 00:13:09,310 We're going to train you how to get the girl. 334 00:13:10,655 --> 00:13:11,965 You guys are the best! 335 00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,413 We're going to turn you into a lean-- 336 00:13:13,413 --> 00:13:14,620 Mean-- 337 00:13:14,620 --> 00:13:16,620 Lady-killing machine. 338 00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:17,862 Let's do this! 339 00:13:17,862 --> 00:13:20,724 [motivational music] 340 00:13:20,724 --> 00:13:22,379 ♪ ♪ 341 00:13:22,379 --> 00:13:24,068 Who's ready for some fried chicken? 342 00:13:24,068 --> 00:13:25,482 [record scratch] ALL: We are! 343 00:13:25,482 --> 00:13:27,758 [laughter] 344 00:13:27,758 --> 00:13:29,862 [somber music] 345 00:13:29,862 --> 00:13:31,241 Hey. 346 00:13:31,241 --> 00:13:33,172 What's going on, Linc? 347 00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:35,068 The girls were going to help me win Charlie back, 348 00:13:35,068 --> 00:13:36,965 and then they just stopped. 349 00:13:36,965 --> 00:13:40,206 Oh, well, maybe I can help you. 350 00:13:40,206 --> 00:13:41,310 - Really? - Sure. 351 00:13:41,310 --> 00:13:42,482 - You'd do that? - Yes. 352 00:13:42,482 --> 00:13:43,724 Thanks, Dad. [doorbell rings] 353 00:13:43,724 --> 00:13:44,758 Oh! 354 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,137 The doctor's here. 355 00:13:46,137 --> 00:13:47,758 [music winds down] 356 00:13:47,758 --> 00:13:49,517 We'll clear the dishes. 357 00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:54,482 That was the most tender chicken I've ever had. 358 00:13:54,482 --> 00:13:56,344 Well, got to go. 359 00:13:56,344 --> 00:13:58,655 Uh, wait, you can't leave. 360 00:13:58,655 --> 00:14:00,068 We thought maybe we'd go into the living room 361 00:14:00,068 --> 00:14:01,586 and play some board games. 362 00:14:01,586 --> 00:14:04,000 Yes, and I could prepare some after-supper drinks 363 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,275 like a mint julep or some sarsaparilla. 364 00:14:08,793 --> 00:14:13,103 Well, I have open heart surgery at 9:00 a.m. 365 00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:15,931 But, I do love sarsaparilla. 366 00:14:15,931 --> 00:14:20,000 Oh, well then, why don't you come on over and sit awhile? 367 00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,172 History. 368 00:14:26,172 --> 00:14:28,793 Which British monarch had the most wives? 369 00:14:28,793 --> 00:14:30,482 - Chaz VII. - Henry VIII. 370 00:14:30,482 --> 00:14:31,551 Oh, darn! 371 00:14:31,551 --> 00:14:33,137 OK, your turn. 372 00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:37,379 - Sports. - Ooh. 373 00:14:38,413 --> 00:14:40,000 Ah! 374 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,896 [clears throat] If you were punctured 375 00:14:41,896 --> 00:14:46,034 by an arrow in archery class, after removing the arrow, 376 00:14:46,034 --> 00:14:48,896 how would you treat what looks like an infection? 377 00:14:48,896 --> 00:14:50,413 Well, obviously, I'd go to the ER. 378 00:14:50,413 --> 00:14:51,689 You didn't let me finish. 379 00:14:51,689 --> 00:14:53,655 And you can't go to the ER. 380 00:14:53,655 --> 00:14:55,482 Well, I'd flush the wound with saline solution 381 00:14:55,482 --> 00:14:57,482 and suture it with dissolvable stitches. 382 00:14:57,482 --> 00:14:58,448 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 383 00:14:58,448 --> 00:15:00,448 Would yarn work? 384 00:15:00,448 --> 00:15:01,482 Yarn? 385 00:15:01,482 --> 00:15:02,862 Nope, nope. 386 00:15:02,862 --> 00:15:05,103 Well, let's just give him another card, hmm? 387 00:15:05,103 --> 00:15:06,586 Sure. 388 00:15:06,586 --> 00:15:08,034 Ooh, history. 389 00:15:08,034 --> 00:15:09,827 [clears throat] 390 00:15:09,827 --> 00:15:12,000 Sir William the Buckethead had bucket on his head, 391 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,034 how would you get it off? 392 00:15:14,034 --> 00:15:15,103 Can I see that card? 393 00:15:15,103 --> 00:15:16,517 Uh-uh-uh. 394 00:15:16,517 --> 00:15:18,620 That's against the rules, Dr. Simmons. 395 00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:21,034 And we're very rule centric here at the Loud house. 396 00:15:21,034 --> 00:15:22,310 Here we go. 397 00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:24,275 Movies. [clears throat] 398 00:15:24,275 --> 00:15:26,034 In "Gone with the Wind", is salad dressing 399 00:15:26,034 --> 00:15:27,344 bad for a sunburn? 400 00:15:27,344 --> 00:15:30,517 Oh, I see what's going on here. 401 00:15:30,517 --> 00:15:32,310 You think you're the first to try 402 00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:34,034 to wrangle free medical advice from me? 403 00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,206 [laughs] Nice try. 404 00:15:36,206 --> 00:15:38,965 Dr. Simmons, please, wait. 405 00:15:38,965 --> 00:15:40,482 Look. 406 00:15:40,482 --> 00:15:42,724 You seem like... 407 00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:44,448 decent people. 408 00:15:44,448 --> 00:15:46,275 And the chicken was delicious. 409 00:15:46,275 --> 00:15:49,344 So I will treat one of your children. 410 00:15:49,344 --> 00:15:50,689 Our brother has a butt pimple. 411 00:15:50,689 --> 00:15:52,206 It's the only thing standing between him 412 00:15:52,206 --> 00:15:53,931 and what might be true love. 413 00:15:53,931 --> 00:15:56,137 A butt pimple! 414 00:15:58,379 --> 00:16:00,655 [suspenseful music] 415 00:16:02,379 --> 00:16:04,896 I've lanced a lot of butt pimples in my day, 416 00:16:04,896 --> 00:16:06,862 but that one fought back. 417 00:16:08,379 --> 00:16:09,586 Wear that overnight, 418 00:16:09,586 --> 00:16:11,172 you'll be good as new in the morning. 419 00:16:11,172 --> 00:16:12,310 Thanks, doc. 420 00:16:12,310 --> 00:16:13,655 You're a real lifesaver. 421 00:16:13,655 --> 00:16:15,724 Come here. 422 00:16:15,724 --> 00:16:17,689 Good luck with the girl. 423 00:16:17,689 --> 00:16:20,655 [tender music] 424 00:16:20,655 --> 00:16:22,103 ♪ ♪ 425 00:16:22,103 --> 00:16:24,758 I have to say, you guys are the best. 426 00:16:24,758 --> 00:16:26,827 When I was lying in Lucy's grave earlier, 427 00:16:26,827 --> 00:16:28,344 I had lost all hope. 428 00:16:28,344 --> 00:16:30,896 Because of you, Lincoln Loud is back, 429 00:16:30,896 --> 00:16:32,517 and more confident than ever. 430 00:16:32,517 --> 00:16:33,689 [doorbell rings] 431 00:16:33,689 --> 00:16:35,137 Oh, I'll bet that's the doctor 432 00:16:35,137 --> 00:16:37,517 back to fix the rest of you. 433 00:16:37,517 --> 00:16:39,724 I've got to get back into character. 434 00:16:41,758 --> 00:16:44,655 [quirky music] 435 00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,965 ♪ ♪ 436 00:16:46,965 --> 00:16:49,172 I haven't seen you at school, 437 00:16:49,172 --> 00:16:50,793 so I wanted to give you your homework. 438 00:16:50,793 --> 00:16:53,655 ♪ ♪ 439 00:16:53,655 --> 00:16:55,344 I've got to go. 440 00:16:55,344 --> 00:16:56,931 Wait! Don't leave! 441 00:16:56,931 --> 00:16:58,689 I'm only wearing this diaper because the doctor 442 00:16:58,689 --> 00:17:00,586 lanced my butt pimple. 443 00:17:02,068 --> 00:17:04,379 I'm Zach Gurdle with breaking news. 444 00:17:04,379 --> 00:17:06,103 Found footage from a neighbor's door camera 445 00:17:06,103 --> 00:17:09,241 reveals Butt Pimple Boy in new humiliation. 446 00:17:09,241 --> 00:17:14,724 ♪ ♪ 447 00:17:17,068 --> 00:17:19,103 [melancholy music] 448 00:17:19,103 --> 00:17:20,413 ♪ ♪ 449 00:17:20,413 --> 00:17:22,620 I'm sorry we ran the story, Lincoln. 450 00:17:22,620 --> 00:17:25,034 Principal Ramirez said ratings are key. 451 00:17:25,034 --> 00:17:26,551 I understand. 452 00:17:27,827 --> 00:17:29,379 I don't know what I'm going to do, Clyde. 453 00:17:29,379 --> 00:17:30,931 I'll tell you what you're going to do. 454 00:17:30,931 --> 00:17:32,689 You're going to come on to "Real Talk with Rusty" 455 00:17:32,689 --> 00:17:35,724 tomorrow, and I'm going to restore your image. 456 00:17:37,137 --> 00:17:40,000 [funky upbeat music] 457 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:47,172 ♪ ♪ 458 00:17:49,586 --> 00:17:51,482 You know him as Butt Pimple Boy, 459 00:17:51,482 --> 00:17:53,413 and others know him as Diaper dude. 460 00:17:53,413 --> 00:17:55,724 But there's so much more to our first guest. 461 00:17:55,724 --> 00:17:58,793 It's time to get real on "Real Talk with Rusty". 462 00:17:58,793 --> 00:18:03,206 Please give a warm welcome to Lincoln Loud! 463 00:18:03,206 --> 00:18:05,448 [cheers and applause] 464 00:18:05,448 --> 00:18:09,655 ♪ ♪ 465 00:18:11,517 --> 00:18:14,172 I noticed he sat down pretty confidently there. 466 00:18:14,172 --> 00:18:15,310 How's the pimple? 467 00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:17,034 Pimples fine, Rusty. 468 00:18:17,034 --> 00:18:18,172 Mm-hmm. 469 00:18:18,172 --> 00:18:20,206 And how's your heart? 470 00:18:20,206 --> 00:18:21,862 Still healing. 471 00:18:21,862 --> 00:18:24,310 You can't put a diaper on your heart. 472 00:18:24,310 --> 00:18:27,241 Let's pop that pimple a little more. 473 00:18:27,241 --> 00:18:28,862 Tell us about the humiliation. 474 00:18:28,862 --> 00:18:32,172 Oh, I think everyone saw the humiliation. 475 00:18:32,172 --> 00:18:33,517 They did. 476 00:18:33,517 --> 00:18:35,344 I saw it multiple times. 477 00:18:35,344 --> 00:18:37,379 I even sent it to my grandma. 478 00:18:37,379 --> 00:18:39,275 Partly because it's funny, 479 00:18:39,275 --> 00:18:40,793 and partly because we're running out 480 00:18:40,793 --> 00:18:42,310 of ways to connect. 481 00:18:42,310 --> 00:18:44,655 But walk us through the humiliation, Lincoln. 482 00:18:44,655 --> 00:18:47,310 Like you said, everyone already saw it. 483 00:18:47,310 --> 00:18:48,758 Even Nana Spokes. 484 00:18:50,344 --> 00:18:52,034 Humiliation sells, Lincoln. 485 00:18:52,034 --> 00:18:53,551 Give the people what they want. 486 00:18:55,275 --> 00:18:56,758 You know what, Rusty? 487 00:18:56,758 --> 00:18:57,896 You're right. 488 00:18:57,896 --> 00:18:59,620 Humiliation does sell. 489 00:18:59,620 --> 00:19:01,517 And maybe that's the problem. 490 00:19:01,517 --> 00:19:04,137 [gentle music] 491 00:19:04,137 --> 00:19:08,000 We're all so quick to point out anyone who's different. 492 00:19:08,896 --> 00:19:12,103 We live in a world where people think they have to be perfect. 493 00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:13,758 We have filters on our phones that make us 494 00:19:13,758 --> 00:19:17,758 look thinner, cuter, stronger. 495 00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:21,241 But these filters cover up the things that make us human. 496 00:19:21,241 --> 00:19:23,896 For me, it was a butt pimple. 497 00:19:23,896 --> 00:19:25,896 For someone else, it might be a bad haircut, 498 00:19:25,896 --> 00:19:27,689 or wearing their mom's homemade clothes that 499 00:19:27,689 --> 00:19:30,000 are way too small for them. 500 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,413 We're all going to have moments in life 501 00:19:31,413 --> 00:19:32,862 we're embarrassed about. 502 00:19:32,862 --> 00:19:34,448 But the key is to have the confidence 503 00:19:34,448 --> 00:19:37,034 to not let it bring you down. 504 00:19:37,034 --> 00:19:39,310 My name is Lincoln Loud, 505 00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:40,862 and I'm wearing a diaper right now. 506 00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:43,655 For a partially healed butt pimple. 507 00:19:43,655 --> 00:19:46,413 And I'm proud of it, because I'm not perfect, 508 00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:47,965 but I love myself. 509 00:19:47,965 --> 00:19:49,482 Blemishes and all. 510 00:19:49,482 --> 00:19:51,827 [audience aws] 511 00:19:51,827 --> 00:19:53,586 ♪ ♪ 512 00:19:56,517 --> 00:19:59,275 [cheers and applause] 513 00:19:59,275 --> 00:20:02,172 ♪ ♪ 514 00:20:02,172 --> 00:20:05,448 Ladies and gentlemen, we just got real. 515 00:20:05,448 --> 00:20:07,068 Whoo-hoo! 516 00:20:07,068 --> 00:20:09,862 [cheers and applause] 517 00:20:09,862 --> 00:20:12,482 ♪ ♪ 518 00:20:12,482 --> 00:20:15,068 You get a diaper! 519 00:20:15,068 --> 00:20:16,310 You get a diaper! 520 00:20:16,310 --> 00:20:17,551 And you get a diaper! 521 00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:20,172 [gentle music] 522 00:20:20,172 --> 00:20:21,862 ♪ ♪ 523 00:20:21,862 --> 00:20:23,689 You were amazing. 524 00:20:23,689 --> 00:20:25,344 Thanks. 525 00:20:25,344 --> 00:20:27,379 I'm just glad you'll still talk to me after all that stuff. 526 00:20:27,379 --> 00:20:29,586 Are you kidding? You're awesome. 527 00:20:29,586 --> 00:20:32,344 All that stuff you said about having to not be perfect, 528 00:20:32,344 --> 00:20:34,000 it really hit close to home. 529 00:20:35,206 --> 00:20:36,551 I have an extra toe. 530 00:20:36,551 --> 00:20:39,275 [upbeat music] 531 00:20:39,275 --> 00:20:41,517 ♪ ♪ 532 00:20:41,517 --> 00:20:44,275 Charlie, would you like to go to Auntie Pam's 533 00:20:44,275 --> 00:20:45,965 and have a milkshake with me? 534 00:20:45,965 --> 00:20:48,241 Oh, my gosh, that sounds amazing. 535 00:20:48,241 --> 00:20:50,241 Rusty and I were about to head over there to celebrate 536 00:20:50,241 --> 00:20:51,655 his great interview. 537 00:20:51,655 --> 00:20:53,517 - Hey, babe. - Great news. 538 00:20:53,517 --> 00:20:55,241 Lincoln's going to join us for Auntie Pam's. 539 00:20:55,241 --> 00:20:56,482 Perfect. 540 00:20:56,482 --> 00:20:59,068 Who wants to share some french fries? 541 00:21:01,206 --> 00:21:04,172 Sorry, it takes me a while to come down. 542 00:21:04,172 --> 00:21:10,931 ♪ ♪ 543 00:21:13,241 --> 00:21:14,379 Hey, am I late? 544 00:21:14,379 --> 00:21:16,068 Nope, right on time. 545 00:21:16,068 --> 00:21:17,551 Make some room, people. 546 00:21:17,551 --> 00:21:21,724 ♪ ♪ 547 00:21:21,724 --> 00:21:23,655 We're all so proud of you, Lincoln. 548 00:21:23,655 --> 00:21:26,448 Yeah, little bro, you really rocked that speech today. 549 00:21:26,448 --> 00:21:27,931 People need to hear that stuff. 550 00:21:27,931 --> 00:21:30,068 Hear what? I can't hear anything. 551 00:21:31,862 --> 00:21:33,241 I may not have gotten the girl, 552 00:21:33,241 --> 00:21:34,793 but I have you guys. 553 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,793 And I made a difference, so that's what's important. 554 00:21:36,793 --> 00:21:38,413 Hey, don't worry, Lincoln. 555 00:21:38,413 --> 00:21:39,793 When I was in middle school, 556 00:21:39,793 --> 00:21:41,551 I had to ask my first girlfriend out 36 times 557 00:21:41,551 --> 00:21:43,827 before she said yes. 558 00:21:43,827 --> 00:21:47,379 Of course she left the country the next day. 559 00:21:47,379 --> 00:21:48,620 It's a long story. 560 00:21:48,620 --> 00:21:51,068 The point is never give up. 561 00:21:51,068 --> 00:21:52,793 Your first girlfriend? 562 00:21:52,793 --> 00:21:56,068 Oh, I'm weak in the knees just thinking about my man 563 00:21:56,068 --> 00:21:57,413 pining for another. 564 00:21:57,413 --> 00:21:58,931 Oh! 565 00:22:00,344 --> 00:22:02,034 I'm OK. 566 00:22:02,862 --> 00:22:03,931 Looks like I'm going to have to take some more 567 00:22:03,931 --> 00:22:05,896 fried chicken to our new neighbor. 568 00:22:05,896 --> 00:22:09,586 ♪ ♪ 569 00:22:09,636 --> 00:22:14,186 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0